The Dark Side Of Happiness


is all we do wait?

Eleonora Etcetera-2

Are you happy? Ask yourself and be absolutely honest. You do not have to tell anyone. I simply invite you to be honest about this. For yourself. Do you love yourself?

Many people seek happiness. There are endless keys to find temporary happiness. Happiness can become an addiction. One craves happiness so much that one does everything to achieve it. “Do I deserve happiness?” asks one oneself. Deserve. Such a vague word. Who decides if one deserves anything. In a world full of constructs, once our mind is independent, one should not make things dependent on the question of “deserving.” I am. I decide. So how do many humans try to achieve happiness?  Company, celebration, relaxation, meditation, religion, etcetera. The list is long. Every key has a lock. Every key opens a door. Except for those who do not. Should we really assume that every key has a lock? Every lock a key? Are not the big mysteries of the cosmos reason enough to assume that some locks have no key. Some keys are just keys without a lock. What is humanity? Are we a key? Why are we using other people, other ideas, other ideologies as keys? No wonder they open the door to happiness only if regularly used. How can I open that door for a longer time, maybe “forever”? How about I use the only key that I myself absolutely own: Myself. Do I need to get things done? Most likely. Do I need to achieve goals, get things done, to be happy? No. Some keys do not need a lock to open a gate. Happiness is nothing tangible. Happiness just exists, if we invite it. Maybe we are the lock, and happiness is the key that we simply need to invite. I see a problem with the idea that we can only be happy if things go well. This is, in my opinion, a product of the concept of deserving. “If I drink, and meet people, I can be happy.” “If I find a job, I will be happy.” “If I do this right, I deserve to be happy.” Happiness: A reward. Should happiness not simply be a conviction? Should happiness simply be an ideology that one chooses to follow? Be happy, and things will get done. Allow Happiness, and you can achieve your goal.

What holds us back? Maybe the whole problem with finding happiness is that we have to face our self and have to actively make the decision to be happy?

But how and why should I be happy if everything goes wrong? Have you tried just being happy? And I do not mean go somewhere and drink until you forget your sadness. Have you actively decided: I am myself, and I love myself. I am happy to be alive. If everything else fails, I still have myself. Happiness is not stating “I am happy now,” even though this might help. Happiness is not the acting of happiness. It is a small switch, a small decision., a small trigger. Happiness is the realization that when I am absolutely honest with myself I can see that I am myself. I am. Everything else is doubtable. You can doubt yourself, but can you doubt that you doubt yourself? This is proof enough that I exist. This is proof that you exist. Whatever existence might be. Happiness opens when one loves oneself.

Self-love allows an ever expanding moment of control over the present. However, loving yourself at every moment does not mean that you cannot accept mistakes. You can even think of certain behaviors as “stupid” or “bad.” One can also be angry with himself, because absolute honesty includes Absolute Honesty to oneself. Will it change much? It will change the mind. You also do not need to “always” love everything and everyone. Sometimes you might even hate someone, for it is a natural emotion to have. But never loose the sense for love for yourself, life, and the living. Living a happy life does not mean to fake happiness, when you are actually sad. It is the simple, but yet so complex, little switch that decides: “I love myself and I am hurt.” I think of this as a better approach than “I hate myself and I want to die.” As long as you love yourself you will not want to die.

You ask your self, why you should not hate your self? Who am I to decide that you should not hate your self? You asked this since you asked: “Why should I love myself just because I exist?” What is the benefit of self hatred? Have you done something so bad that not even yourself can forgive you? When we go, we go alone. We are alone at all times, even when in company. Deep down you are only you. Why hate? It is a decision only you can take. Is self-hatred the easier way, since it allows us to hate what we are? Does not this make death more acceptable? We can accept death because we think that we deserve death. How can we know if we deserve something that we have no knowledge of. Does this ease our ever expanding fear of the unknown mystery: Death. The Dark Side Of Happiness.

Does Happiness increase the fear of death? Why fear death more than before? Facing the existence of death does not mean that we have to constantly fear it. Do not forget rationalism, for without rationalism madness will grow. When we are children it seems that we have unlimited access to our creativity. We can learn how to access this again. Imagination is a powerful force. We learn rationality, for it is an important too to learn and use. With rationalism we forget a part of our childhood. Some need to forget childhood. However, I am not talking about childhood as a thing in space and time. I talk about the mind. The mind of childhood accessed by a child that became an adult.But are not children the happiest? Are not the mad blessed? What is madness? I am just a fool.

Are we cowards for not being happy, or are we cowards for fearing death? Maybe we are no cowards at all. 

See the beauty of melancholy. Imagination. Creation. See the Dark Side Of Happiness.

Will you join me in happiness?



Tempus Vincit Omnia



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