Backwards Thinking

Let’s get straight to the point: I have a question for you: Who are you?

That’s a good question right?  What I thought about these days is that we are as much the person we think we are, as we are the person that we express ourselves as. This gives you a very powerful weapon. But before we get there let’s start with something else.

So, what is the “I”? I would argue that humans think of themselves as the person they remember they are. This means that our own memories shape our character. Sounds logically, right? So for instance if I ask you who you are and what you’ve experienced, you will tell me your memories, experiences etc. Things you identify with are things that you’ve seen or thought about once.

I see one big problem with this: Many (maybe even most) people are backwards orientated in their thinking. This means: They define themselves by their past. “I have this past and that makes me the person I am now.” How about a different approach?

Backwards thinking is dangerous. It is effective, nevertheless. It works perfectly fine in a society in which you don’t have to think. You just follow pre-made ideas and your dreams are probably all within the framework of the given (capitalist) society. “I want a house, a car, money etcetera.”
So what about yourself? What do you want? What are your dreams? Dreams are something that many put aside easily, a sacrifice for the safe and accepted life that so many pursue. If you ask me, these people don’t even pursue anything. They follow blindly ideas that were planted in their minds from an early age on.

So how do we free ourselves from backwards thinking?
We have to discover our own future!
What do I mean with that?
Once the future is discovered, the individual should find it hard to get back into backwards thinking. Trust me, if you disagree, you probably still think about your past. And if you say that you are planning your future (jobs etcetera) then you are still backwards thinking. Forwards thinking doesn’t simply mean you plan your job or life. It means that you start to create your own future. This also means that you have to rid yourself from any cultural creation that doesn’t include your own ideas. Pursuing the idea to become a lawyer, a politician etcetera is backwards thinking, because you pursue a culturally old and dying concept.

How do you create your own future?
Let’s get back to the beginning. I said that you are as much the person  you think of yourself as you are the person that others think of you. That makes all the unspoken thoughts in your head useless. All your dreams and all your hopes will never become reality if you never get them out. If you let them stay unspoken (or even worse: not even think about them, because they are uncomfortable) then you will never be that person. If you want to create yourself, you have to express yourself as the person you want to be. This is what I call “expressionate” behavior. If you out yourself as a person (even if you think you are not this person) you will create the memory of being that person in your and other people’s minds. And once you have the memory (and enough memories) of being someone, then you will be that one. Creating your own memories demands creating your own future. This is a strong weapon for you and your ideas.

Remember: You are no one, except the decision you take who you are. In every moment you have the choice to become anything you want. You might sit there reading this article and start laughing. Then you become a laughing person. You might also smash your computer and burn your whole house. Then you will become a lunatic in the eyes of others. Every moment you have the option to be any kind of person.

If you want to take control over your mind and life start make to make your own decisions.
Decisions that come from your own conclusions.
Conclusions that come from your own answers.
Answers that are a result of your own questions.

Never stop asking “Why?”

If you want to quit smoking, or solve a problem: Ask Why. And keep on asking. Until it hurts, until you cry. Maybe don’t go that far. But if your questions do not lead you to some extent of discomfort and pain, you are not asking deep enough. You should value yourself enough to question yourself. Because you should be the one who understands yourself best. If that’s not the case: Ask why!



50 Random Questions To Ask Yourself

I have received some messages about the issue of “silenced thoughts.” In one of my previous posts  I mentioned the danger of silencing your own thoughts. What do I mean with this?

I would argue that many people are in an inner fight with themselves. I myself was part of these people. It seems to be normal that we assume that everyone is “fighting their own fight.” But what are they fighting? Are they fighting their issues, their problems, their fears? If that’s the case, then I say: Stop! Stop fighting yourself! How should a mind function if it is in a war with itself? How should a person achieve happiness if the self is the enemy? Many people don’t like to be alone, listening to the voice in their head, because the thoughts are not the ones that we like to think about. If that’s the case with you, then I tell you it’s time that you start listening. Start listening to the most uncomfortable thoughts that roam your mind. Let’s make a small list of random thoughts to get you started. Maybe you will feel uncomfortable with some of these questions. If so, you know that you have found something that you should think about. Just to be very clear: I want to provoke/tease  your mind here. So if you feel offended by any of these questions feel free to do whatever you want to do with that experience. What you do with these questions is up to you. Some of the questions may be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” However, that is not my intention! Try to go one step deeper than that simple yes or no (or a simple one sentence response).

1. Who do you want to be?

2. What is your secret message to the world?

3. How would you react if you are being raped?

4. What would go on in your mind during the rape?

5. What would be your reason to kill another human?

6. What are you secretly scared of? What could be the worst thing to happen to you?

7. What would your thoughts be during that experience?

8. Do you like yourself? If yes: What do you like about yourself.

9. Do you hate yourself? If yes: Why?

10. If you could change your body, appearance, mind etc. right now, what would you change?

11. Are you scared of death?

12. What would your reason be to commit suicide? (if you can’t think of any try to imagine yourself in the situation)

13. What would your thoughts be right before committing suicide? Would you cry? If yes: Why?

14. What do you dream of? In a perfect world, what would you do?

15. Do you think that the system you live in is ever lasting?

16. Do you think that things cannot be changed?

17. Do you think that your path is pre-made?

18. Do you think that laws are righteous?

19. Do you think that democracy is good?

20. Do you think that democracy is an ideology?

21. Do you believe in god? If yes: Why?

22. Can you describe god? How would you describe god if you have to (in your own mind)?

23. Do you like your voice?

24. Do you like the way you act in company of others?

25. How do you behave when you are completely alone?

26. Do you think that you are sick?

27. Do you think that you are worth to be loved?

28. Do you love yourself?

29. Would you beg for life if somebody is about to kill you?

30. What is the happiest thing you can think of?

31. What is the saddest thing you can think of?

32. What is the most shocking idea you had?

33. What is your opinion of your parents?

34. What is your opinion of your friends?

35. How would you feel if a stranger walks into the bathroom, while you are on the toilet?

36. How would you experience this moment if the stranger doesn’t leave?

37. What is your opinion about drugs?

38. Where does this opinion come from?

39. How many of your opinions come from own thinking/from yourself?

40. Can you name a few ideas that you believe in, even though you know that you have done no research into them?

41. Do you feel ashamed about your sexuality?

42. How do you express your opinion about sex(uality) in comparison to your sexual desires?

43. How many of your decisions are consciously your own?

44. How much do you care about what others think about you?

45. Are you happy with the condition of your physical body?

46. How intelligent do you really think you are?

47. How is your drinking / smoking behavior?

48. How do you imagine the future?

49. What will stay when you are gone?

50. Did any of these questions offend you? If yes: Why?

As you can see, many of these questions are things that are not nice to think of. And that’s why you should think about them. It doesn’t matter what your responses are, what is important is that you face these questions. Of course these questions are just here made by a writer that you don’t know. That’s also why you shouldn’t overvalue these questions or feel offended. I simply wrote down some ideas that I thought of. What I want to show you with this is: Don’t silence your thoughts, no matter where your mind takes you. Analyze everything, and learn how to keep a healthy distance to these things so they don’t overwhelm you. Why? Because if you want to activate your conscious thinking, you need to be ready to think about everything.
Another easy trick to start thinking consciously is writing down your thoughts and don’t stop when the voice in your head tells you “no I’m not writing that down.”


Why You Should Be Proud

Why you should be proud of the things you achieve. All the little, bigger, small, gigantic things. Everything. Let me tell you exactly why: (Currently I am busy with many things. I will post more in the upcoming days, but for today I will give you some personal thoughts. Maybe you will see yourself in them.)

Have you ever worried about something? A project? Something you want to do? Something you want to achieve? Often these things go step by step. At many times I end up feeling that I should not be proud until I am finished. Maybe I am the only one who thinks this way, but I fear to be proud because I believe in “bad thinking.” It is this believe of “the light at the end of the tunnel.” When I achieve this, I can be happy. I will just name it bad thinking now, since I have no other word or term for it. What I mean is: I achieved something today, so I should not be proud because I am not done yet. Why should I only relax and be proud when I am finished with something? Am I scared that if I end the day with a good feeling that tomorrow I will not do anything? Is it positive thinking or negative thinking that motivates me? Stress through “you are not done yet” or motivation through “I have achieved this today, I can continue tomorrow.” Is it karma so many people believe in? I am not trying to convince you to stop believing in karma, I am simply telling you to be proud. I have experienced that a good feeling after achieving a small step brings huge motivation to achieve an even bigger step the next day. You have proven it to yourself that you are able to do this one step, you can do the next one! Do you really think that something or somebody will catch you thinking positively and punish you to prove that you were wrong? Do you really believe that thinking positively about a hard project is a bad approach because you need negativity? I am telling you: Try and be happy, and you might realize that motivation comes from the inside as much as it comes from the outside. End your day motivated and you will achieve even more the next day.

This was just a small thought that I had yesterday. Maybe you will see yourself in this, maybe not.

On June 12 (My Birthday) I will post the next “bigger” entry for this blog. I value the text I wrote for that day much. Let’s hope you will like it as much as I do. We will all find out on June 12. A big thank you to all the people that have taken a look at my blog, followed this blog, and supported me in any other way! I did not expect any views on this blog the first three days, but you surprised me. On the second day the visitor number (and the view count) almost doubled and the third day brought even more people to The Dark Side Of Happiness. This means a lot to me. Please keep sharing and tell your friends if you like what you read. It means a lot to me.



Why are we not able to relax at all times? Of course, sometimes we need stress. Relieving stress means that we have to feel the stress and let go. How can we relieve something that is suppressed? Something personal:

I tried to fall asleep, but I could not find the dream world. Something was in my way. An obstacle. Stress. This stress is unbearable, I thought. How can I reduce stress. My natural reaction is avoidance. But avoidance is a technique that creates stress suppression and not relieve. I felt into my body, and it was a very physical experience. Falling. I was falling. Maybe that is the reason why we say “we fall asleep.” I let go of the stress after I felt it and the adrenalin rush flew through my body. After the rush I felt relaxed. Acceptance, yet again, is the key.

Personally, when I am in the process of falling asleep I experience one phenomenon probably every evening. A small thing. When I relax my stress will narrow down to the one spot on my body where I feel most vulnerable at this point. I feel that spot and a need will develop to dodge a possible attack. Of course I know that I am safe in bed, but I still feel this urge to move away from the danger. Then I can fall asleep.

Why would my brain create this compulsion? The ideology of Mental Illnesses assumes that something is wrong with the brain and I suffer because of this. What if I tell you that I can fall asleep afterwards. I faced my stress and that gives me relieve and peace. It is something that comes from stress and creates relaxation. It is something that gives me hold. The fear reveals itself to me. I know where the fear lies. It is no fear of the unknown, even though it might as well be. Creating logic in this case saves me. Things, such as these are pillars that give hold and stability. So how about we start asking the question of why the brain does something instead of “what is wrong, and why.” Where is the benefit? This is an effective way to understand mental abilities. Many people create sense and logic in their life with many diverse beliefs and behavior. I create my own stability and logic. Do we not all need these things in this questionable Omniverse? Make-believe. My own belief justifies its truth in a world where I have no certainty over any truth except one.

Maybe I am just a person with a constantly high stress level. I am happy that my brain has found a way to relieve this stress.